In the current state of the world, I felt it was as good a time as any to discuss balancing my life as a military spouse and mama. I’ll share with you a little glimpse into the balancing act of it all, the highs and the lows and everything in between.

Grab yourself a snack, and get comfy this one is personal.

My husband served active duty Army for several years at the height of the war with Iraq and Afghanistan. Deploying to both areas, both full tours. He decided to get out when his contract was up, entering into the civilian world. (That topic alone can be a post for another day, transitioning into the civilian world after deployments is a wild ride. We will save that one for a later time.) Once he was in the civi sector, he decided it was time to go back in, but this time into the National Guard so he could still balance home life, being a first responder, and still going back to what he missed and loved.

Army life

I truly believe that some people are just made for military life and they thrive in that environment. The structure, the adrenaline, the camaraderie. I often joke that now I have to worry about him on both sides of the track, the civilian world, and the military world. People have really strong feelings about law enforcement and military, both good and bad. I will forever ride the wave of being his cheerleader in all of it. That’s my job in this, that’s where I come in as a mil spouse/first responder wife. Just being there, being present and ready for when the world calls him in, I have to let him go and hold our family together while Daddy protects not just us, but everyone else too.

In times of conflict…..

Turn the TV off. I repeat, turn the TV off. Get off social media, and go wash the dishes.

I could easily go down the rabbit hole and endlessly watch for every single latest update. Refreshing my underground/independent news pages for any updates, and I would be lying to you if I told you that I haven’t done that. We all have. But, when you look down and see two little eyes staring back up at you with pure innocence. Not understanding why your face is plastered in worry. You have to buck it up, mama. To them, they have no idea what is going on outside your home, and in this home, we do dance parties in the kitchen, pancakes every morning, and mini-concerts to Disney soundtracks.

Let the worry come in the quiet moments when they go down for a nap. When they sleep at night, and the classic cry in the shower. That is when you can let the weight of the world seep in just for a minute. You are human, I am human. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so every day, make that time to just breathe it in and breathe it out. Talk to your partner about the weight of it, the shared weight of living life in a chaotic world while raising a family. However, on the other hand. Never add to it, if you help it, never add to the stress they already have being away from home, being away from their own comfort & sanctuary.

Most of all, be proud of your role. Be proud of the role you have to be the infinity stitch that holds it together so your spouse can do what needs to be done. Not just for your family, but for everyone else’s in this country too. These days have been a little more stressful on my side of it all. Expecting my second in just a few weeks, and the added stress of having a little one with some major food allergies is just that much more. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes.

I’m telling myself that too.

Find your people, and lean in on them. Others just won’t fully understand where you are in all of this if they haven’t walked this path too. You likely won’t have a village, that’s okay. If you have just one person that you can talk to, hold onto them like gold. I’m thankful to the ends of the earth for my family. My husband and I have been together for so long, his family truly is my family, and navigating through this would be a whole lot harder without their support and love.

Keep your little ones in the loop when you can, even if they aren’t old enough to understand the concept of time. They understand more than you can imagine. When they ask for Daddy, tell them the truth. “Daddy’s away working right now to protect us. He will come home soon” “Daddy misses you so much” “These are kisses from daddy!” “Daddy sent you a bunch of tickle kisses!” I keep my husband as my wallpaper on my phone so whenever my little one asks for him, she knows she can see him on my phone. She hugs my phone and holds it to her heart. She understands that’s her daddy, she kisses his face and it fills her little heart for that moment with love from her daddy.

It fills mine too.

The biggest part of this is prayer. Pray in the calm, pray in the chaos. Control what you can, and keep yourself busy. Stay prepared as best as you can, and remember to tell yourself often: “Stressing about something that hasn’t happened yet will only make you put yourself through it twice”

Stay strong mamas, I know I’m trying my best right now.

Until next time,

Kinda crunchy mama.